19 of the Most Hilarious Parenting Tweets You’ll Ever Read

Parenting can be a wild ride filled with unexpected moments and plenty of humor. Here are some funny parenting tweets that might just hit the mark:

“My 6-year-old doesn’t want to go to the park because he’s tired of wearing sunscreen.”
“I realized my daughter thought having your period is a choice and now she’s crying because I informed her it is not.”
“My 3-year-old just told me, ‘Well, if you won’t play with me then I’m gonna take a NAP on the COUCH!'”
“My kids come up with all these cute names for their made-up games, like the dancing competition on the trampoline is called the ‘tramp dance.'”
“Heard another dad at the park refer to the approaching ice cream truck as the ‘music truck.’ His kid didn’t mention ice cream, just said, ‘Cool, I love the music truck!'”
“My 13-year-old told me we’re never truly alone because we’re always carrying 2 1/2 pounds of fungi, bacteria, and mites on our bodies at all times.”
“Today will go down in family history as the day my mother forgot her reading glasses and began showing my four-year-old ‘The Aristocrats,’ instead of ‘The Aristocats.'”
“No one: not a soul: my daughter: if I ever get rich I’m going to buy a family crypt for all of us because we don’t want random dead people buried around us.”
“When little kids play baby dolls nowadays, do they tuck dolly into the cradle with a blankie, or do they dress her in a sleep sack and put her in an empty crib, drowsy but awake?”
“Where the hell have I been?” – my infant waking up from a nap probably.
“Wow, ok, when I said my teen eats everything I was exaggerating… pic.twitter.com/11vYzPemZO”
“Wellness experts: Get plenty of rest, eat whole foods while sitting down, focus on fruits and vegetables, get rid of stress in your life. Me, standing at my kitchen counter mainlining chocolate marshmallow ice cream after another sleepless night with the baby: Sounds good.”